The Ron Swanson Collection: A Gift Guide for Parks And Recreation Fans

Sarah & I are in the middle of watching Parks & Recreation all the way through. When the show was in its final two seasons we were, I guess, living in Oz. While we didn't see any flying monkeys, wicked witches, or people made of tin (though there were an odd number of people in red slippers...) but we did live in a world without cable television. That's like living in Oz, right?

Anyway, we couldn't watch the last few seasons as they aired on television and so we are using Netflix to relive Parks & Rec in all of its glory. Aside from April & Andy (as a unit), my favorite character has always been Ron Swanson- so today I am proud to present a Ron Swanson themed gift guide for fans of Parks & Recreation. 

Ron Swanson Gift Guide

1. Lagavulin 16 Year Single Malt Scotch
2. Offerman Woodshop Canoe
3. Swanson Pyramid of Greatness Print
4. Charles Mulligan's Steak House Poster
5. Sanborn Canoe Trout Valley Paddle
6. J. Crew Red Polo
7. Smoking Pipe "Ship" from SovietHouse on Etsy
8. The Nutmeg of Consolation by Patrick O'Brian
9. Steak & Eggs from a Breakfast Restaurant (IHOP)

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As a special bonus, here are a few of my favorite Ron Swanson quotes!

• Honor: If you need it defined, you don't have it.
• Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
• Friends: One to three is sufficient.
• Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly, that is ridiculous.
• I'd wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.
• Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga except I still get to kill something.
• Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing.
• Go outside. Remain.
• When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.
• Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish... and feed yourself. He's a grown man and fishing is not that hard.
• I'm allergic to two things: cowardice and weak-willed men. And hazelnuts.
• I regret nothing. The end.